If you decide to write to an inmate, make a commitment. Many
times inmates begin to write to an individual then find that the
person is too busy to write any longer. Inmates that you write to
really look for those mailings. So be upfront about your ability to
write on a regular basis. If you are only able to write once a month.
Let that person know so that he or she doesn't look for your letter
and feel that you are not interested.
If you do not want any kind of sexual references or suggestive
writings from the inmate, make it perfectly clear in the beginning.
Getting to know an inmate and them to know you takes time and a
bit of patience. It's best to begin with a basic friendship and build
relationships from that point.
It might be best to avoid talking about the particular crime that
person has committed. Many times the individual will volunteer the
information himself. If you're interested in finding out for yourself,
you can go to the "Links" area of our website. Many States now
have websites where inmate info searches can be done to obtain
the conviction records of the inmate in question. Another way is to
contact the prison directly.
Do not send significant amounts of money to an Inmate. We can't
stress this enough. If you send any money at all, money for
postage is usually greatly appreciated. Be extremely leery of any
inmate that tries to get you to send them funds no matter the
reason. If you wish to assist an inmate with legal expenses, ask for
his attorney of record and deal with that person. Never send
money directly to inmates for attorneys fees, If you do assist with
legal expenses, always have money set in trust account that can
only be made payable to their legal counsel not to them personally.
Be upfront and honest of what you are looking for in your pen-pal
relationship. But be careful not to have expectations that are
unrealistic. Remember that you are establishing a relationship with
someone that is in a completely different environment than
yourself.
Try not to be judgmental, and try to keep a cheery tone to your
letters. You will find that many inmates are sincerely lonely and
many are looking for someone to love or be loved. Sometimes this
can lead to a very rewarding relationship for all individuals
involved. But the key word in all of this is to take it slow and easy.
Hearts can be broken on both sides of the walls.
Don't write to more than one inmate from one prison at a time. It's
just not a very good idea. From previous experiences we have
found that many times a person that writes to more than one
inmate in the same facility can create a rivalry between inmates. It's
best to avoid that situation all together.
Don't write to too many inmates at once. It's a good idea to write to
no more then 8-10 at a time when starting out. Remember
communication with inmates is a real commitment. These are real
people with real feelings.
When writing to an inmate, It may be best to use a post office box
to have your return mail address. It's a prudent practice not to give
out your private address or phone number unless you get to know
the inmate very well.
All inmates are not the same. As with any group of people there are
vast differences in personalities and cultures. If you find that you
don't relate well with one individual, don't let that stop you from
writing to another. As with any person you meet on the outside,
each one has his or her own particular quality's that may be
appealing or unappealing to your own sense of taste. You will find
every denomination, race, educational background and class inside
of prison walls.
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Some General Guidelines For Writing to Inmates